I met a Donkey sitting on a Camel today

As most of you would be aware by now that I had taken a day away from the hustle-bustle of Mumbai (something I crave to do) to spend it in green hill top off Lonavala. This cliff is commonly known as Lions Point and it is a couple of minutes of drive from another point known as Tigers Point. I have no clue how the locals arrived at this nomenclature. But what I have realised over time is that Lions Point is marginally more scenic than Tigers Point. Not to mention that the only animals I encountered out there (apart from rowdy city folks hanging half their bodies outside the car) were dogs, buffaloes and the lonely CAMEL.

To justify the title of this piece, here is the little story.

I hate most of the typical tourists. The kinds who travel around a place with a checklist of things to see which in turn is usually derived from others who have already been there before or from the wisdom of the travel agents. Today, I got to see loads of them; in hordes I would say. But there was one gentleman who left an indelible mark on me.

He was with his family and did the usual. He got off the car and ran straight to the one end of this place to answer the nature’s call. Then he asked his driver to click pictures of his family infront of the car (though the face of the wife was completely draped under her Sari). Then, he turned around and took a picture with Lions Point board as the backdrop.

Then, he asked his wife to pose with him, which was followed by just the kids posing which was followed by the son and daughter with him and then the son and daughter with his wife. This was followed by a session of individual's photo-session in two to three angles. This entire exercise was carried out – not to mention – with the car and then the board as the backdrop.

The charade moved on: the permutation was carried out at the edge of the cliff, next to a BMW, holding a branch of a tree in one hand, sitting on the rock, next to the stream, etc. etc.

Watching this Circus from a distance, I had finished my Maggi, two cups of tea and two cigarettes. The drama continued.

The climax in the story was when this family discovered the lonely Camel and his master trying to take people for a ride. It costs forty bucks for a five minute ride. To me it seemed that this was the high point of the entire trip for them.

The family moved closer towards the disinterested Camel and his master. The man started his round of negotiations with the master and also instructed his driver to initiate the usual round of photography – in all combinations that is – around the camel. After what seemed like an endless discussion they arrived at a point of equilibrium with the master bearing a disgruntled look and the man looking back at his family as if he was Dhoni and had just won India the World Cup.

The ‘usual’ happened before he climbed on the camel's back. By now I hope my dear readers would understand what I am referring to when I refer to it as being 'usual' for this family.

He then climbed on the camel’s back and before usual could happen once again, the camel decided to stand. Suddenly his expression changed. It seemed like he did not want to be captured on the camera any more. However, his driver religiously followed his advice – which he must have issued moments back – and continued to click.

Click, click, click; as the camel made its first move. He was definitely not enjoying it anymore. His family followed behind him and the driver struggled to move ahead and along the beast.

As for me, I was wondering what a camel was doing in a rocky terrain 3500 meters above sea level in almost freezing cold temperatures whereas it is supposed to be on the smooth, hot desert sand.

The story continues.

Click, click, click; the camel was now moving in our direction. I was with another Bong friend of mine @Pallav Gupta smoking a cigarette and watching what more was in store for us from this Great Indian Family.

As he closed in further, I could see him holding on to his seat as if it was his life being snatched away from him. I wish I could have used a word better than constipated for the expression on his face. It was priceless.

Click, click, click; the camel came to a halt right infront of us. The man shouted at the master as the camel bent its long head to pick up something from the ground, “What’s the matter with this thing?” The master looked back lazily and saw that the camel had picked up a stalk of corn on the road. He replied that it was just a corn stalk that the camel is picking up and asked him not to bother. The man on the camel’s back gave an expression as if the camel had deliberately decided to unlock a landmine.

I told myself that what else would a hungry and bored camel with a stupid load on his back, pick up from this road apart from corn stalks disposed by animals like his load. After all the negotiation this load had done, the camel master would certainly not be making too much of money.

Click, click, click; the man shouted once again from the top, “Make sure there are no problems.” He half smiled at the camera. This smile soon vanished as the camel decided to take a bigger step over a rock. By now, his family was lagging behind, but the driver seemed to keep pace and click pictures lest he would lose his job.

The camel took a quick turn around our tea stall and went back from where it had started. The journey was as long as walking from my desk in the office to the loo and back. I wondered who the bigger fraud was.

The man now got off the camel’s back and took out the handkerchief from his pocket. He was panting while the camel was as cool as any animal burnt in desert heat could feel on the chilled and scenic hill top of Lonavala.

He haggled over the price and the distance once again and finally paid the master. Both looked disappointed. The camel was expressionless as usual.

The driver was in the scene of action once again. Click, click, click; the expression on the man’s face changed completely. He was the new Batman avatar infront of his family. They now started walking back to their car as he relayed his tales of adventure on the camel’s back. The kids looked like their role-model had just re-affirmed their faith once again. The wife's face was still hidden in the Sari to make out her expressions.

The camel looked even more bored and lowered its head to take a nap, till another donkey climbs its back.

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Two Issues We Face Today Which Call for Immediate Action

My journeys from home to office and back seem to be overflowing with interesting people and conversations. Today was no different.

On my way back home, I got a lift from Rahul Kulkarni who has been managing a dual existence for the last three years. And boy, he’s been doing it really well. His not so exciting side is that he heads the Creative function for a Shopper Marketing firm. The part which I found intriguing is the other half of him; the one that drags him on a 6 hour long journey every weekend to pay a visit to the farm in his native village.

This farm is not just another farm. It’s a farm with Mango trees interspersed with organic cultivation of vegetables and spices. His story becomes more and more interesting when he begins to describe the efforts he’s put into for the last three years and his vision for the future. When he first started, there was nothing apart from barren lands with occasional Mango trees. For the last three years, Rahul has put in every penny he and his wife have earned into it to get farm thriving. He has yet not earned a penny. Nor does he expect any returns in the near future. The intention is also not to build a commercially profitable organic food supply project out of it.

What he intends to do is to build a couple of cottages for himself and for occasional wanderers: to come and live with him, to plant and cultivate with him, to harvest and eat with him. This is his Retirement Plan in a land hidden in the lush green Monsoon loving valleys of the Western Ghats of Maharashtra.

Sounds interesting right?

Once our discussion progressed, I ended up asking him a couple of dumb questions which had been nagging me for a while. He cheered me up saying that these weren’t dumb questions and then went on to describe how it was one of the biggest issues facing the country. My first question to him was as follows:

I’ve been hearing a lot about these genetically modified seeds and excessive usage of fertilizers & pesticides. My assumption is that more farmers are getting converted into using these methods which lead to better looking varieties of produce. If this trend continues, does it mean that over a period of time, we will be left with no non-modified local varieties of seeds?

He took a deep breath and said that this is one of the biggest issues that the agro-industry is facing today. There are fewer and fewer varieties of local seeds that are available now. Genetically modified seeds produce crops which look better, weigh more, require less water, etc. They lead to a higher yield. But people are still turning a deaf ear to the quality of the yield and the impact it has on their body.

There are two aspects to this problem he feels: the soil and the seed. When fertilizers and pesticides are added to the soil, they destroy almost ‘everything’ in the soil. This includes the essential bacteria and other organisms which help in the process of making the soil alive with their ‘excreta’ and ‘what they breath out’ in the process of respiration. This gets completely lost. This is comparable to trying to grow these plants in concrete. Seeds and plants, in their natural form, develop certain adaptability qualities in their natural setting. When they are genetically modified, they tend to develop certain new qualities (higher yield and easy marketability) but they also suffer from certain defects. Defects include lower nutritional value, prone to diseases more easily.

He also spoke about the politics and the economic privileges which this entire process yields to certain stakeholders which I would not like to elaborate in this piece.

When I asked him more about the key issues facing this industry, he pointed at another trend: reduction of food supply.

With rapid urbanization, people are moving out of villages and moving towards cities in search of better opportunities and lifestyle. They are giving up on the traditional household farms (which used to be a key source for the consumption of the family) and even selling off their land while moving to cities. In some cases, the land continues to be used for agriculture. However, when the land is sold for industrial development and real estate it fetches the best prices. This is leading to a decrease in agricultural area.

This trend is coupled with another trend where the limited amount of agricultural land is being utilized for cash crops over essential food crops.

These two factors when working together point at scary food supply deficit for the future. There is a continuous increase in the size of the population and at this rate there would not be enough food for the ever-expanding population.

Our conversation was killed prematurely since I had reached my destination. I am looking forward to accepting his invitation to visit his farm over one of the weekends to learn more.

Formula Programming - Reality Talent Shows

Why I don’t like watching X-Factor? Simply because I feel that I have seen it many times over. It feels like watching the same movie with different actors playing the same roles. I find it boring just as I find the other shows boring such as: Sa Re Ga Ma, Dance India Dance, Indian Idol, Kaun Banega Crorepati, etc. have. Each of them had a successful first season while and some had more than that. The interest levels dwindled with every subsequent season. While some of these are successful international formulas which have been copy pasted in India, others are indigenous. However, each of them seems to have passed their prime and now require an age lift solution. Unfortunately, there are MANY with contrary opinion, as the television audience in India keeps increasing in volumes much faster than it matures. Thus the admission that the opinions stated in this article are mine. Also, my rants are not limited to X-Factor alone but extend other similar reality shows as well. The only reason I began this article with X-Factor is because it was the last show I saw on air before I penned my thoughts.

Some of the reasons for my ranting above are:

1) The channels become greedy: There needs to be an end to a success story. A happy ending and not one in which all characters take a second life and again have a happy end. And again, and again. Once a formula works for a channel, they turn greedy and keep on pushing it till the last possible limit.

2) They all look the same: A singer can participate in three to four reality shows easily without innovating anything new at all. If he knows how to move his legs, he can add another two three to this list. If not on this show, there is always another one to waiting to be tried out. They are all the same after-all.

3) Huge amount of emotional drama: There is always one participant in each episode who is either an orphan, has some physical disability, has a widowed mother, sleeps on the pavement, drives an auto, is a vendor at the station, sells newspapers, has gone to jail, has never had a teacher, god’s gift in terms of talent but not in terms of monetary benefits, etc. You can predict that after every three contestants, there will be one for whom they would play an AV about the participant showing the inhuman living conditions, the leaking roofs in their houses, the aluminium vessels to eat, the weeping mother, the bed-ridden father, the sister who is of marriageable age, the village which does not even have electricity, etc.

4) Same judges: Might not be the same people each time but again it’s the same formula. Get a woman who will bring in the emotions, a young man to talk the rational bits and an experienced contender to do the summing up. Make the woman cry first, then the young dude and save the tears of the experienced fellow till the elimination rounds later.

5) Humour is from people making a fool of themselves: Most importantly, every episode in the eliminations (and the eliminations go on for a really long time considering the size of Indian population) has this one idiot hell-bent on making a fool of himself. Try as hard as you might, he will ensure that nothing comes in way of his two minutes to fame and your irritation.

6) At the end of it all, nothing happens: Most of the winners, participate in the subsequent champions episodes, become coaches, become judges for the kids season, release their first album, get offers for live shows from across the world, and after some time, are lost in oblivion. They are replaced by new ones, with just as much talent, just as much energy, similar emotionally traumatic upbringing and hopes of millions of viewers who have laughed with them, cried with them, sung and danced with them, sent messages for them, etc.

Nothing remains constant. The channels are wealthier, the brand recalls healthier, the winners popular and the viewers, happier (empathy induced joy I would say).

This is when we (as viewers) start relishing those fond memories of something that just got over. This is when we begin to feel the pangs of separation. This is when we are just about to start missing those participants who entertained us for a couple of months. And this is when we hit the power button to switch on the television craving for more of them.

But what we see is a new promo. From a different channel with the same show. From the same channel of the next season.

A new story begins and develops just like a new relationship would. Unfortunately, it tends to end much faster than what a relationship would. What is left with the audience is the feeling of being heart-broken. Is that what we want?

"Ek PROBLEM Hain"

In this article, I would like to discuss one particular trend about India which the world respects it for and the role which the word ‘problem’ seems to have played in it. I am talking about amazing feats which have been achieved by Indians in the field of Information Technology all across the globe today. In ways more than one, Indians today provide most of the solutions when it comes to complex mathematical, analytical and numerical challenges, IT being one such supreme example.

There are countless examples to substantiate the above. General Electronics has set-up the largest research centre in Bangalore, forty percent of the 500 biggest companies have their back offices in India and many employees in places such as NASA, Microsoft, Intel and IBM are Indians. Vinod Khosla, the founder of Sun Microsystems, Sabeer Bhatia of Hotmail fame and Vinod Dham, the person who created the Pentium chip are all Indians. We also know about the achievements of the homegrown IT companies such as Infosys founded by Narayana Murthy, Wipro by Azim Premji, TCS and many others. The stories about Indian accomplishments in this sector are countless.

There was been numerous studies done in the past to try and understand the reasons behind this seemingly inherent Indian skill. Most of them have covered the important factors such as how we have traditionally been a nation of people with a deep sense of understanding and application of mathematics and analysis. The Indus Valley and Harappa Civilization made extensive use of measurements for length, mass and time. They were amongst the first to generate standards for weights and measurement and it is also true that these cities could not have been constructed without the knowledge of geometry. Then we had mathematicians like Aryabhatta I (from the fifth century AD), Brahmagupta (from the sixth century AD), Mahavira (from the ninth century AD) and Bhaskara (from the twelth century AD) whose contribution to mathematics and astrology cannot be overemphasized.

Another significant reason was the initiative taken by the government during the initial years post independence. The early leaders (Jawaharlal Nehru in particular) who had a clear focus and made substantial investments in the field of higher and technical education and institutions such as the IITs, the REC and several others came into existence/ started to flourish. During the initial Five Year plans, as much as one quarter of the education development budget was spent on technical education.

A great influence on the Indian minds was also fashioned by the opportunities which started opening up post liberalization initiatives taken by the government in early nineties. People from small towns as well as cities saw examples of others making getting well-paid jobs across the world with an engineering degree and likewise. In a country of scarcity and limited opportunities which India had always been, there was suddenly a burst of prospects. People saw examples of kids getting packages with a starting monthly salary which was more than the annual salary of the parents. A strong sense of possibility emerged and it led to an increase in aspiration as well as effort in the hearts of millions.

While each of the above factors are indeed true and have played a dominant role in the progress of the Indian IT and software industry, there is another unique language trait, popularly used in everyday lingo which I wanted to explore in this article. My discussion here is about the manner of usage and the prevalence of the word ‘problem’ in India.

Ever since I was in school and even later in college, I remember that most of the questions in the mathematics text book were labeled as ‘problems’ and not merely as ‘questions’. Even when it came to subjects such as Physics and Chemistry, there used to be a combination of ‘questions’ and ‘problems’. It was customary with the teachers for these subjects to leave the classroom with ten ‘problems’ to solve after having shared one example. Even the question papers during the examinations used to glaringly challenge us to work on ‘problems’ while for other subjects they would remain merely as questions. There were text books with hundreds of problems while for other subjects there were stories to read and essays to write.

What is interesting to note here is that almost all subjects would label ‘questions’ as ‘questions’ or use a neutral approach by using Roman Numerals, alphabets or just numbers. However, when it came to subjects such as Mathematics, Physics and Chemistry our lives would magically be doomed with ‘problems’.

One possible inference we can draw from such nomenclature is the fact that these subjects traditionally occupied a status which was different from others in the minds of its teachers. While a study in other subjects would result in questions which were to be replied to, when it came to numerical and analytical subjects, there were problems which required deep thinking and a methodical approach to arrive at a solution. While other subjects had material which could be memorized and recreated, these subjects required application of concepts taught in a completely new scenario during the examination. In some way, though not always vocally, the teachers in these areas of study attached a greater amount of importance to these subjects over others.

It is also interesting to note that as we grow up, we continue using the word ‘problem’ as a part of our everyday life. As we grow older and more responsible, we feel that we are in a life stage where we need to prove our real worth and make use of all the knowledge and experience gathered during the ‘brahmacharya’ or the learning years of our life. It is at this time, when we move into the so called ‘real’ world that we face challenges most often completely unique from what we have known in the past. And, during such a period, we once again resort to the usage of the word ‘problem’ whenever there is a daunting task at hand. We say that once we get a better paying job, all our ‘problems’ will get resolved; my boss seems to have some real ‘problem’ with me which I am not able to understand; the ‘problem’ with this client is that they don’t have money; the crux of the ‘problem is; ‘Dost, ek problem hain, koi solution bol’, etc.

When analyzed deeply, we find a lot of evidence which suggests that we attach the word ‘problem’ to tasks which are of importance as well as require mental and emotional effort to resolve. When we use this word, there is a sudden flash of memory from the sub-conscious reminding us about the enormous effort we used to put-in to overcome similar daunting situations at a very tender age. Any situation to which this word gets attached, assumes a sudden sense of seriousness and urgency in the same way in which we would break our heads to complete ten problem assignments in school.

Coming back to the success of the IT and software industry in India, which depends on a work force of people with superior numerical and analytical skills amongst others, one cannot undermine the importance of the factors such as our brilliance with these subjects in our past, the efforts put in the government to develop these areas of study and also the burst of opportunities in this industry. However, maybe in a small secretive manner, there is a significant role which language (especially the word problem) has played by adding a sense of importance and urgency to these areas of study.

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